a beautiful disaster

So what is multiple sclerosis, you ask?

It is falling asleep at the most inconvenient times. That tingling sensation all over your body that comes and goes as it likes. Walking around like a drunk because your balance is off. Running into things because you didn’t see them. Feeling nauseated because the room will not stop spinning. People thinking you are over dramatic when the pain really is too much. Looking like an idiot when you forget the simplest things…

I could go on but I think you get the picture.

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In July 2011, I was sitting down at work trying to get the kiddos down for their naps. I was tying my shoes when I noticed that my foot would not flex up. Odd I thought.

Long story short.. I saw the doctor. Did some tests. Got a brace. It fixed itself.

Fast forward to August 2012.

I had been running three times a week for around 8 months. I started getting a numb sensation in my legs afterwards. TOTALLY NORMAL.. right? I decided, what the heck, might as well just bring it up again to the doctor.

Same process.

See the doctor. Run some tests. Except this time was different. This time, I ended up making a visit to the good ol’ emergency department. My legs were burning. Yes, they felt like they were on fire. Literally.

The next day, after my ER visit, I see my Neurologist (who has been nothing short of amazing). He tells me that there are FOUR lesions on my spinal cord.

Now let’s be honest. We all have that inner WebMD doctor inside of us researching every symptom we have to make sure we aren’t going to die tomorrow. And that is exactly what I had been doing the last couple of days. So when he talked about the lesions, I knew what he was saying.

Basically, the body defends itself against.. Itself.. And attacks the fatty substance (myelin) shielding our nerves from this cruel world. Lesions occur at the site of this damaged myelin and they, in turn, cause “shortages” in the nervous system. (It seriously works just like any other wired system. I promise.)

The doctor went on to say that I would need a spinal tap and to start my first (of many) dose of steroids. Lovely, I thought. Just what I wanted. All the while, my poor husband was on deployment in Japan worried sick about me. But thankfully, that amazing mother in law of mine was able to fly down on a dime and help me through one of the toughest times of my life.

So now, this is what I do for a living. I take an injection every morning.

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So all in all, having this incurable disease is far from fantastic. Yet, I refuse to let it take over my life. Running was one thing that my MS took over. So it is time to take it back.

For now ❤

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